For fuck's sake
by Nothing-to-do-with-tiki
Summary: Right, this one is definitely going to have multiple chapters. This is your typical 'as a jinchuuriki, Naruto has a mate and is being stubborn about' fic, with a side order of 'just done' Kurama. I'm not sorry. Will have smut in later chapters. Enjoy.
Right, as I forgot this last time, **Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything else that you may recognize in this mess of a fanfic** (I mean, really? What're you thinking, reading this? There're better things to spend your time on, surely.) Oh, and this is before Itachi would die - let's pretend that Sasuke found out the truth sooner, okay? - and an Uchiha's eyes don't deteriorate with excessive use of the mangekyo sharingan as I don't want Sasuke to go blind or have to rip his brother's eyes out of his skull. Oh, and I'm also disregarding the fact that Naruto doesn't know Kurama's name yet.

* * *

Sitting abruptly upright in bed, panting, he gripped his hair. That had been a horrible dream; terrifying, absolutely and utterly -

 _ **Shut up, you liked it really.**_

No; no, he didn't. He really didn't like the thought of doing that with - with...

 ** _You know, you can think his name. Sasuke can't hear you. Now, I know you're convinced that he's all powerful, but that's a bit far fetched, don't you think?_**

 _You're loving this, aren't you, y_ _ou sadistic bastard?!_

 ** _Immensely, brat. Don't you need a cold shower now?_**

Naruto groaned; having someone inside his head 24/7 could be exhausting sometimes. And he was still adamant that no, he did not enjoy that dre- nightmare, thank you very much. He definitely did not like thinking about what it would be like to kiss his rival, to grip onto his hair as he got pou-

 _Okay no, getting up now! Time to start the day! Yes, it's going to be epic! (Note the sarcasm; it was going to be a flop of a day.)_

-Cue line breaker thing-

Only just remembering to lock his door as he fled the apartment, Naruto ran towards the training grounds, already planning on avoiding talking or interacting with Sasuke as much as he possibly could.

 _ **Yeah, right; like that's going to work. Come on Naruto, you're not a complete idiot; he'll notice if you do that.**_

 _Stop being right about things!_

Damn, there goes his master ( _ **Shit**_ , coughed Kurama. _Asshole!_ ) plan. Now what? Well, he could just act normal, but come on; like that's going to work. He knew that he couldn't act for shit, so Plan B had to be made and put into action: Operation Distract Sasuke From Me Being Weird (or DSFMB, if you will). This one was full proof, surely. Nothing could go wrong.

Turns out, a combination of talking to yourself, talking to the demon that lives within you, and running isn't a good one as proved by one Uzumaki Naruto running straight into the object of his obsessive thoughts.

They're not obsessive, it's perfectly normal to think this much about one of your friends. Right?

"Oi, watch where you're running, usuratonkachi." Naruto was broken from his revery by a beautifully annoyed voice.

"Not my fault you're blocking up the entire path with your ego, teme!" Good one, me; Naruto: 1, Sasuke: 0.

"Hn", Sasuke oh so eloquently replied.

 _Haha! He's speechless because of my wit!_

 ** _Yeah, sure. That's definitely the reason._**

 _Thank you for agreeing with me for once, Kurama._

Coming back to the land of the living, Naruto finally realised that there were several squashed tomatoes stuck to his shirt and slowly sliding down. Ah, that would explain the way Sasuke's eye is ticking. Quick! Damage control; Operation DSFMB!

"So, Sasuke... The sky's very blue today, isn't it?"

 _ **Oh my fuck, you're useless.**_

 _I'd like to see you do better!_

 ** _Just throw the tomato at him and run._**

 _See, I knew you wanted me to die._

"- ruto? Fuck's sake; DUMB ASS!"Sasuke's previously twitching eye had closed with its twin in an expression of pained annoyance.

"Eh? What?" Naruto was quickly trying to formulate an escape route in his mind. He couldn't use the roofs; last time he accidentally stood on a pigeon and had to hold a funeral - he felt very guilty about it to this day.

"I said, if you want to be on time then you're going have to hurry up and buy me more tomatoes now. Be a lamb and drop them off, could you?" And with that smirk full of condescending arrogance, Sasuke turned and walked towards the training grounds.

And no, Naruto's eyes weren't stuck on his ass, pervert.

 _ **I can literally feel the drool drip down your chin right now. And Sasuke can actually see it.**_

At that, Naruto's eyes darted upwards, only to see that Kurama had been right and Sasuke was indeed smirking right at him.

"Oh, fuck my life with a lamp."

 _ **Why a lamp?**_

 _I don't know, okay?! I'm very confused right now!_

Blushing the colour of Gaara's hair, Naruto hurriedly turned around and ran to the training grounds via the long as fuck route.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was still smirking as he walked. _Plan A: Very effective._

* * *

After the tiring day of blushing, sparing, and blushing just a bi more, Naruto flopped onto his bed like a flaccid penis.

 _ **Oh, you do have a lovely way with words, don't you?**_

 _Screw off._

Naruto groaned; this couldn't go on. He had no Plan C, god-fucking-dammit! He needed time to recuperate his wits. Yes, he was near the breaking point. What breaking point, I hear you ask? Why, the point in which he finally says fuck it and succumbs to that RIDICULOUSLY STRONG pull.

You know it wouldn't this bad if you accepted it, right? Every jinchuuriki goes through this; stop being a fucking child.

Naruto refused to acknowledge this, however. He was very stubborn; he could do it, dammit!

 _ **No, you can't. By the end of the week you'll be lying underneath him, begging him to fuck you harder.**_

 _Asshole! Shut it!_

Nononono, he wasn't. He could resist! He was strong enough. Just because the bastard was his so-called 'mate' with a capital M, or some shit like that, didn't mean that he was going to be taking it up the ass anytime soon.

 ** _Yes it does. We've been through this; you're the submissive one due to your Yang chakra. He's dominant due to his Yin chakra._**

 _Fucking tou-san couldn't give me the other half of you, could he?_

 ** _Suck it up, kid._**

Urgh, since when did life decide to fuck him royally with a plank nail-embedded wood?


End file.
